Working Too Hard (30/11/22)

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog! I hope you all are having a nice week, wherever you are. This past week it was my birthday. We went to a trampoline park! It was a pretty chill birthday. I can’t believe it has taken me so long to go to a trampoline park. They are definitely made for children, but I suppose we are all children deep down, aren’t we?

The past couple of days I have been worried about how hard I am working. I didn’t get much of a break on and around my birthday and I have been feeling a bit off the past couple of days.

Hard work is an interesting concept to me. It feels like that’s all I do. Most of the time these goals are pretty big. These goals make me happy, and they are what I want. However, sometimes it would be nice just to relax, and not have to run about like a headless chicken everywhere. I am sure you all understand me on that one.

I have completely neglected my journaling and meditation and have come to realise that it is an important method for me to emotionally regulate. I have battled my entire life with trying to identify when I am overwhelmed or stressed. I seem to not realise until it’s too late. I don’t think I get stressed or overwhelmed very easily. Maybe its because I learned not to emotionally regulate, and now I struggle to determine what I am feeling and what to do about it. Well, to be honest, I am pretty sure that’s what it is.

It’s strange because I think I am pretty good at understanding and picking up on other people’s emotions. When it comes to my own, I must really work at it. I feel like there’s two kinds of people.

Person 1: very emotional and open about their emotions.

Person 2: struggles to express emotion and to identify it within themselves.

What do you think? I wonder if there is an in-between. I am definitely person 2.

I love what I do, I suppose I need to work tirelessly to meet these expectations on what I do and want to achieve. The question is, can you do it healthfully?

Or maybe a better question is, how do I ensure that I do it healthfully?

I don’t think hard work is synonymous with stress and unhealthy working patterns. I think we can work long work weeks and still get enough sleep and rest time. Maybe I’m wrong. I hope I’m not wrong.

Maybe I am feeling this because of the time of year. This time of year is always impossibly difficult and enjoyable at the same time. It used to be just fun. It’s funny how times change when we get older and start to take off the rose-coloured glasses.

I hope you are not feeling stressed, and I hope you will take a well-deserved break this Christmas. I hope you can focus on the good things about Christmas, and not the sad bits. Although, thinking about the ‘bad’ bits isn’t really all that bad either. We need to look into those ‘bad bits’. I have lost that habit, my body is telling me to get back to it.

I hope these feelings didn’t resonate with you, but if they did. We’re in this together.

I love you all.

Thank you for reading.

Mairi

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