Hello everyone. Welcome back to my blog and to this new post about conquering fear and doing hard things. I hope you have had an amazing start to your week. I can’t believe that we are six months in to 2023! As we are half-way through, I thought it would be a nice time to reflect and look inwards. I invite you to join me and do the same!
I have talked on here before about my fear of the dentist and my interest in ‘doing hard things’ to grow and learn. I find working hard at my goals enjoyable and exciting. However, when it comes to my health and needing to go to the dentist or doctors, I am full of anxieties and worries. Why? I know we all have our worries and concerns and that Is just part of being human. Maybe it came from some trauma in my childhood, who knows. I suppose hard things don’t scare me. I am fearless when it comes to my career or pushing myself to the limit, but as soon as you want to stick a needle in me, I’m out. The fear is overwhelming.
Is it just me or does that make absolutely no sense? These past few months I have been trying to evaluate these irrational fears, and I have no idea if I am getting anywhere with it. How do you really conquer a fear? I suppose you just have to go and do the thing you are so worried about, and learn that it wasn’t so bad? Well at least that is what I hope will happen.
“Time heals all wounds”.
What do you think about that statement? It troubles me a bit. Does time actually heal wounds, or do we just get used to the feeling? Whenever something traumatic or painful happens, our brains work at padding the memory to make us forget how traumatic it was. If we thought about every traumatic event and broke down crying, it wouldn’t be very useful. So, the brain heals all wounds?
I think that we must try to remember the traumatic feelings associated with events in order to feel them, especially after they happen. It is so easy to forget the emotion and burry it to try and move on. Our brain will make us forget anyway, right?
Yes, but then when any situation reminds us of that trauma again, we are paralysed with fear. That is no use either. I suppose this is all speculation. I have been trying to bring up the past and what has scared me so much about the dentist or doctors before, to heal it. Then maybe I can move on and conquer the fear? I am discovering that it is incredibly hard to do.
I also think it is about understanding your limits and understanding that you may be scared and that is okay. Take the precautions necessary to make the experience more comfortable for you. What I mean by ‘doing hard things’ is not to throw yourself in the deep end at every opportunity and hope you don’t suffer too much, or even hope you do, but to realise that hard things are mostly advantageous for us in one way or another. We always learn more from hardship than from happiness, and this is something I believe wholly.
I can imagine that there is something you are thinking of when reading this post. Something that is coming up that you might find difficult, scary, challenging? Something that you are dreading? I don’t understand what you may be going through, and quite frankly, I don’t think its useful when someone suggests this. I hope you turn inward and face it. I would imagine it was something you must do. Book the appointment, sit down and do it. It must be done and it’s going to be totally fine. I am trying to take my own advice too.
Hard, difficult, emotional things are a part of human life, and it makes the good bits all the better. Think about how amazing it’s going to feel after – you no longer have to worry.
I hope this has resonated with you, it helps me to write to you all about how I am feeling. I hope you can relate and it can give you comfort too.
I hope you enjoyed this blog post. If you did, please subscribe, or follow. It helps me out so much!
Check out this week’s podcast. It is an interesting one, all about the Scottish diet and lifestyle and how it is wreaking havoc on our health. There are lots of statistics included! I really enjoyed this one :).
Love always,
Mairi
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