This Time of Year

It seems as though there is a constant pressure in modern day society to look, feel and appear a certain way. This time of year more than any other time is particularly difficult. Human nature is designed to motivate us to improve and be successful. This is a fantastic thing, but it can also become harmful. Especially when there is constant internal and external pressure to become an unrealistic and unattainable being, seen as “perfect”.

Perfect doesn’t exist. A concept that seems so blatantly obvious but I think we forget it. We’re constantly bombarded with images of people who seem to be perfect; successful, beautiful, happy.

Reality is different. Good and bad is a constant see saw. No one is exempt from that law. It is nature, it’s the way it was intended. If we never witnessed the bad stuff, the painful stuff. We would simply never feel great, on top of the world. It wouldn’t exist. I think that’s a good way to think. We can’t have good without bad. For me, when it’s bad, its easier to appreciate that the bad is helping me, allowing me to feel greatness, maybe not now but later. Future me is happy, and that’s a comforting thought.

Something else i always say, nothing is really ever that bad. What’s the worst that could happen? You can move on. You can be happy. No matter who or what is making that seem impossible. Remember, nothing stays the same. You’re on a see saw. The good and the amazing is coming. Simply, let it in. Open your mind, think constructively and positively.

I think one of the most important things for your health is listening to and feeling your emotions. EVERY EMOTION. The good, the bad and the ugly. It’s important to feel it all, especially the ugly. When you feel something, explore it.

1. Why do you feel that way?
2. What’s making you feel that way?
3. What is the outcome of the situation?
4. Can you remove yourself?
5. Can you put yourself first?
6. What does putting yourself first look like for you?

Talk to yourself, have a conversation and listen. You have all the answers.

When/if you feel pressure to change the way you look or who you are, anything. Ask yourself where that need is coming from. Change is a good thing. These feelings can bring about amazing change in your life. ONLY if it’s coming from a place of love and care. A lot of change is motivated by trauma, feelings of hatred, unworthiness. When this happens the change isn’t positive. It will always be destructive to you. For example, losing weight is great for health if the individual is overweight. If that weight loss is driven by self-hatred and feelings of unworthiness, that battle will never end. The weight loss won’t solve those feelings, even if it seems that way.

There is a much deeper issue there. One that needs internal work, not gruelling exercise or nutrition regimes. Look within before making these decisions. Get to know yourself.

I believe physical health is one of the most important things for human health. This is proper nutrition, exercise, sleep, water and rest. Yet I believe NONE of that is more important than your mental health and stability.

If you are driven to change. Please, look within.

1. What was your childhood like?
2. How do you feel towards your parents?
3. What is your relationship like with them?
4. What is your deepest and truest interests and passions?
5. What really drives you? Your biggest motivator?
6. Why do these things drive you? Really think about this one
7. Do you sleep well?
8. Do you feel you take care of yourself?
9. Do you actually enjoy life?
10. How do you really FEEL?

Write it all down. Your answers are there. When you get to know yourself, what upsets you, your trauma. You’ll realise that you just want to look after you, love you. Doing what’s right for you isn’t hard anymore. Living a healthy lifestyle, eating healthily, exercising, drinking water, it isn’t hard. You love your body and you. You want to provide for yourself. It’s difficult and a journey and it most certainly will take you places you’ve never knew existed but i guarantee you it’s the most important thing you’ll ever do.

The priority is your mental health. In today’s day and age, we all suffer with it. We all have trauma. Certain things that motivate you when they shouldn’t. Let’s stop seeking external happiness and escapisms. Let’s look within and be there for ourselves. Make yourself happy. You have everything you need.

As always, thank you for reading.

Mairi x