Relationships

“They’re opposites really, love and ownership” – something I heard on a Netflix show and it really made me think. I think relationships are such an essential part of our health and wellbeing as humans, relationships of all kinds. We have so many of them, yet we aren’t taught once how to get them right.

They are messy and complicated, amazing and devastating all at the same time. Some might say impossible. I just think we get them all wrong.

Everyone has heard that saying “if you can’t love yourself, how can you love another”. I have never really understood this properly. I suppose it makes perfect sense. If you don’t put yourself first, live your life for someone else, your relationship will become destructive, especially romantic relationships.

Love is such a complex emotion. We can’t even explain it. We cant even comprehend it in the slightest. How insane is that? We love people so deeply that we would do anything for them. So much so we forget about ourselves. Such an intoxicating emotion that we understand nothing about.

Yet it’s such an important part of being human, in being healthy. Loving others in many ways.

I think we are so petrified of being hurt that we get lost in its prevention. We make decisions based on outcomes, not the journey or the experience. Pain, especially if you have felt it is scary. Of course, it is. But we cannot live life in fear of pain, that very concept takes away from everything that is enjoyable. We cant live life without pain. Why spend it in fear of the inevitable? Take that emotion back. Pain is an essential part of being human. Accept it and own it and suddenly it does not seem so bad.

I think that is the meaning of it all. Nothing is ever that amazing without risk, without fear, without vulnerability. Good without evil would simply cease to exist. Life is one huge mess of good and bad and that’s what makes it so worth living.

Fear is a draining emotion. Fear in relationship can become abusive. We seem to control people and situations to ensure that we will not be hurt, that we won’t have to suffer. As hard as it is we can’t fear it. We cant control anything. What will be will be not matter how much you worry about it.

Fear as little as possible. Its holding you back. Love and experience as many people as you can. Learn from people, learn from yourself, grow into someone you wouldn’t have recognised a year ago.

It’s time we stop worrying about what could be, what might happen and its consequences. Start thinking about what amazing things your life holds for you if you would just let it happen. Say yes for a change. What’s the worst that could happen? Really? Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. I promise you.

You deserve to be loved and undeniably happy.

Mairi x

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